I am wondering if when she is acting out like that, if you have ever held her hand and gently asked her why she is so angry with you?
My counselor told me once that it's so much harder to be mad at a person when they gently hold your hand, and I think that is so true. I know it's pretty common for kids with her issues to have outbursts. I don't have any idea if that would help or not, just throwing it out there.
I will say this. DO NOT RELAPSE. The best gift you can give yourself, or her, is your own sobriety. She obviously has some issues she needs help with, having a sober mom is going to be high up on the list to be able to help her through those.
Hugs to you.