I'm on day two. The shock of realizing that I could be losing everything good in my life has subsided. My resolve has not. The last several months I had been moderating my drinking. I feel it was mostly successful, with the occasional slip of drinking too much. The last month, I had a build up anxieties. As a result, I turned to more drinking, mostly by myself at home. The truth is, I was trying to escape my reality and my feelings. So, with that kind of relationship with alcohol, it is an obviously a dangerous mix. Don't get me wrong, I love a good beer, and I 90% of the time can control myself. It's that 10% of the time that is not worth the risk. My drinking self was becoming more and more reckless. I found myself caring less about my life, because "what was the point anyways, you can't change it", or at least that is what my addict self told me. I do have responsibilities, and I don't want to give them up due to my selfishness. I am seeking help from a therapist and I am discussing more details of my anxieties with my wife. I know that I need support which is a major reason I came to this site. It helped before when I was committed to being sober.
I do find inspiration for all of your stories.