It's so good to see you back, 1needhelp. I wasn't quite ready when I first joined SR. Despite all the terrible things drinking had done to my life, I still thought willpower alone could help me drink socially. I wish I hadn't been such a slow learner - but here I am, 8+ years sober. The thing I thought I could never live without barely crosses my mind these days. There's no doubt you can do this. You sound disgusted - and ready.