Welcome to the forum, Shanman007. You may want to post your story on the Newcomers forum, there's more traffic there:
Newcomers to Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
There's also a weekender thread with a lot of people to offer support over the weekend:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ay-6-a-16.html You can jump in anytime.
The good news is that you don't have to feel this way ever again if you stop drinking and stick with it. Please hang in there.
