Sleepie, my psychiatrist put a name on these kinds of mothers. "Dry teat". They have nothing to give. It's just not there. No manner of excellence is going to be rewarded, it's not in them. No number of awards, merits, successes or accomplishments are going to get their admiration, It's just not in them. It's not personal, they don't have it to give.
When I learned that part, it helped me so much. She could not give me what I needed or wanted not because she was withholding, but because it was never there, and never would be.
I let go. I moved on. No big drama, I just lost all interest in seeking her approval. Months went by before she called me, curious, we had a brief, neutral conversation, and that was it.
Until she got sick and I was dragged back in by my own guilt.
I'm glad you cut bait. Don't look back. There's nothing to see. And quit letting her call the shots in your life. Acknowledging her inabilities to parent without assigning emotion is good. You deserve to live free.
Love from Lenina