Oh yes, the animals!
I had many pets in my childhood. After I had moved out of my parental home in my late teens, I mostly had small animals: rodents and fish... I lived a lifestyle with little time spent home and lots of traveling, so I never thought I could care for anything more demanding. And did not have the confidence that I could, either.
Until last fall! When we got two baby cats, siblings from the same litter. I still would not keep a dog (even though I love them) because we live in a city apartment and still a lot of time spent away from home, but the cats are amazing. When I relapsed with drinking earlier this year, one of the moments that mentally kicked me into action to get help and be done with that awful episode was when I just lied around drunk and lazy in my room in the absence of my husband (he was traveling), in the company of the vodka bottle, feeling sorry for myself. The cats came to me affectionately as ever, I guess not knowing what was going on with me, and I would push them away. But they would not give up. I think I will never forget that moment when the realization came to me intensely, that I am pushing away some genuine love, wanting to escape into drunkville and into my ***ed up head again. I looked at my kitties and was suddenly felt a very intense wave of sadness. That was not the binge episode when I finally made the call to rehab, but close. So yeah I definitely second the idea of pets.
(Oh, and my main research project in current years is about development, and the long term effects of early life disruptions. Involved lots of work with animal families
)
Hope you are feeling reasonably well, dear sleepie
