Newreality, I like your name as it does indeed describe your current situation.
As I found out about the drugs so didn't marry my qualifier, I was never in your position. However, for all of us, just thinking about the next right step is usually a good way to go. Personally I stick with micro-mini steps most of the time.
Please do all you can to take care of yourself and your children right now even if it is just staying hydrated and getting a bit of a walk into your day.
May battalions of angels keep constant watch over you and your family!