More thoughts. Re read your post. You are obsessed with being able to drink moderately. Obsessed. Fixated. Imagining a life where the star is moderate drinking. People who obsess about being able to drink can't drink. If drinking is taking up that much space in your mind, if you are fantasizing being with a man with whom you can drink, you are showing every sign of being an addict. If you didn't care either way, you could probably drink. It is the sad irony.
My husband quit when I quit. I think about alcohol a LOT. I worry about how I will enjoy a beautiful sunset or celebrate an accomplishment without a drink. He really doesn't care either way whether he has a drink or not. For him a cup of tea is almost as nice. So he can. I cannot.
You should find someone OTHER than your boyfriend to talk to. He is not a professional and your are in a relationship. However you also need to realize that your addictive voice is sitting on your shoulder screaming at you that you can drink.