That is a lot to take in.
He fact that you want to be able to drink, that it is taking up so much of your psyche and causing a lot of emotion (like jealously of friends who did drink) tells me you shouldn't drink. You may be able to moderate for a while but eventually you will probably be back where you were. I don't believe that we are all the same but there are just too many people who get sober for a while, combine themselves they can moderate, and are back to old bad habits (and related self loathing). And the next time quitting is HARDER.
If you just decide you are sober once and for all you can focus on important things, not constantly bargaining with yourself.
But, I also think your boyfriend is being controlling in a deeply unhealthy way. Honestly it sounds borderline psychologically abusive. You don't need his permission to drink and you shouldn't abstain because you are afraid of him. You should abstain because alcohol is going to mess up your life.