I wonder about two sponsors. Does that mean you are working two parallel sets of steps? Two sponsor would be confusing IME, as no two alcoholics have exactly the same approach or story. The crosstalk meeting is a new concept to me. Does it mean someone shares a problem and then everyone gives their opinion? That would be confusing. Then add a therapist and you could be getting 20 different opinions everyday on how you should live your life.
My approach was to have one sponsor, work the steps at a good pace so I could get conscious contact with my higher power, then the only opinion I was interested in was that of my higher power, which once in a while, I would run past my sponsor, just to check my motives.
I don't see anything wrong with tackling your recovery with enthusiasm in AA. The Big Book talks about this effect in "The Family Afterwards" and " Working with Others"
It takes a while to find our balance, and it is likely the wife will become an AA widow for a time. But it will be worth it in the long run, provided your sobriety is steps based and not tied to meeting attendance. Sobriety has to be your number one priority. Without it there is nothing.