KariSue

I posted in the other thread about my son Chris dying from a drug overdose. The memorial service is this coming Monday. On his Facebook page we posted that he had passed away and the details of the service so his friends would know. We just wrote that as of now the cause of death was unknown. We did this because we don't mind them knowing it was an overdose but if they come to the service our grandkids might overhear them talking about it.

In time, when we feel they are ready to hear it, we plan to tell our grandchildren the truth about their dad but they have enough with just grieving his loss right now. We don't want them to think he was 'bad' and burden them more. Their mother agrees.

So on the Facebook page (which we will eventually take down) most are just saying they are sorry and nice things. A few are speculating among themselves if it was an overdose as many of them are his old friends who he used to party with and they all were into alcohol/drugs. It wasn't till recently that I even knew he was communicating with some of them. I don't know them all that well. Just as friends from the old days type of thing.

I'm fine with having them come to the ceremony but what if they ask me outright if it was drugs? I need some suggestions on what to say. I could say we just don't know yet. If I quietly say "I can't discuss this now because of the grandchildren being around" then they'll know (which is fine) but then if one tells the other then one of the kids might hear. We always think the kids don't hear when they really do. It is possible it won't come up at all but just want to be prepared.

Also, I don't know most of these friends by seeing them although I might once I see them again. I do remember their names (mostly). They are mostly old friends from when Chris was back in high school.

Any ideas?