hey Calicofish, congrats on your 15 months!
leaving a LTR is hard ... I left a 15 year marriage (although it was quite some time ago, as I was married very young). It took longer than I expected/hoped it would take, to feel like I had built a new life ... about 5 years, although things got better in stages. So I can empathize!
of course the AV wants us to think that alcohol would fill the loneliness, but we know it's lying, right?
hugs to you