What I want is for him to stop drinking, work on recovery and for it all to work out with a happy ending.
meaning HE do all the WORK and you get to reap the REWARDS.
it doesn't work that way. you want a happy life? then you get off your tukkus and get busy MAKING one. yes he may be an abusive a-hole alcoholic, but considering that isn't NEW information hot off the wire, you can't really say HE is the real problem.
he is the stove. with the hot burner. EVERY time you go back and check, it's still HOT and you still get burned. yet even after ALL you know and ALL the history and that the NIGHT BEFORE he was DRUNK, you STILL went over to hang out with the next evening. the stove didn't chase you down......you went BACK to the stove......again.