Well, I did the same thing dealing with my mom's dying--drinking with my spouse
Overall, it wasn't helpful at all for processing the pain and coming to terms with anything.
It just made its own drama in the end as I leaned on it more for other things too
and only kicked the can of grief down the road.
If you know you have a drinking problem, I suggest you rein it in and
don't let her drinking be an excuse for you to join guilt-free.
Somebody maybe needs to be sober in this picture to be the rock?