Originally Posted by
Jacks123 
The weird thing is when I'm drinking I'm not just sitting alone in the dark being depressed. I'm having fun, and laughing and just having a great time.
Dee is offering very good advice. As will happen to all of us, I went through the tragic loss of my wife, and experienced very powerful, even overwhelming grief, something I had never been through before. I didn't know what was going on and the grief counsellor was extremely helpful, explaining that what was happening to me was quite normal. Grief seems to have a mind of its own. It is not easy to just bury it.
The little quote above caught my eye. If my drinking was like that, I'd still be drinking. But the truth for me was far removed from that. The fact was all the fun and laughter was long gone, and had been replaced with misery, fear and insanity. For me to think it was fun would be the height of delusion.