Bravo to you Moms who have experienced that awful step of "kicking them out." I, too, experienced that horrible realization that I had to give my then 23-year-old son the ultimatum - he could be in our family life or he could be a drug addict - one or the other, but two completely different things. Worst period of my life - huge pit in my stomach, wondering if I did the right thing, fearful I would fold and let him back home. But I stuck to my guns - told him not to be in contact with me unless he needed a ride to rehab. It took a while, but he called one day for a ride. We cautiously explained what we required - 30 days at rehab then 6+ months at sober living house.
Today, he is 3+ years sober. Attending college, engaged, and get this - he owns a sober living house! He is now running a house for 8 other men who are committed to sober living. His rules (mostly learned during his own experience at an SLE plus 2 years working for other SLEs) are tough, non- negotiable and working! His greatest joy is seeing other men "get it" and work for it. He and his fiancée (a 5+ year recovering alcoholic) plan to open a women's SLE next.
It's nothing short of a miracle. I say this to you hurting moms not because I'm bragging, but because I want you to know there is hope! Painful steps can lead to success. I offer you my prayers for the pain I know you are experiencing. There's no easy way around it.