YES its normal. i drank to (try and) forget some pretty horrible things done to me and things i did to others. which it never worked.
then i got sober and for the first time in my life, my life-EVERYTHING from my past was there front and center. complete and total terror, bewilderment, disgust, and dispair in me.
but i wasnt stuffing it anymore, i wanted to know why it all effected me so much, and how to change me- how to fix what i could, accept what i couldnt, and actually like myself.
thats where the program of aa came it. it helped me learn how i used to be who i used to be, how to fix what i could, and how to love myself.
im glad to read ya seeking counseling and in aa. imo, a sponsor is very helpful in helping us learn and understand the program,how to work the steps, and how to apply it in our lives.
so, can ya explain what ya mean when ya say ya got stuck without a sponsor?
oh, one other thing:
when i was very fresh to recovery and beating myself up pretty good, a man told me," quit kikin yourself in the arse. youre not a bad man, just a sick man."