I'm a newbie compared to you! I don't even have a year yet, I'm at 9 months. Last time I got to 8 months and then relapsed. So it's hard to know whether I'm doing this right. I just have forced myself through it out of necessity. I'm single, so if I were to stop going to events that have alcohol, I'd be isolating myself pretty heavily. I've met sober people my age through AA, but a lot of them are in different places in their lives with serious relationships and/or kids.
There are certain things I don't do much anymore. I almost never just go to a bar, for example. Anything where the main focus is sitting in a room and drinking, I avoid. But luckily my friends tend to be more activity and drinks people. So I'll go to an event where alcohol is served but there's also music or a lecture, or a party where people are drinking but also playing games, or a camping trip where we hike and then some people have drinks afterwards. I'm also lucky that the social groups I end up in are often balanced, with some people drinking and others not. I recently moved to my current city and I definitely have chosen my friends based on whether they like to do things or just hang out and drink.
My first relapse was definitely fueled by that feeling left out thing, though. I got into the space of "If I can not drink for 8 months, then of course I can drink only at this one party and then not again!". It took a really, really awful 1.5 years of not being able to stop relapsing to really drill it into my head that moderation was not an option. So it's hard to say looking back whether I'd do it the same way. On the one hand, I think isolating myself would possibly have lead to relapse. On the other, being around it definitely did. So maybe I'm just the type that would have had to relapse either way? Or maybe if I'd been more careful and avoided situations like you have, I wouldn't have had to go through that.