Thread: I'm Homesick
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Old 04-21-2016, 06:04 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Liveitwell
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
^ yes! Sometimes letting go oc eberything we hold dear and have created as our gods-people, houses, etc-is the only way to true freedom. I recall right after my divirce was final I was so terribly upset-I still missed my ex. It took me a while to realize that what I missed was what he said he was, not at all what he truly was. I've let go of so many things-bc things are just things. I'm moving from the house that was my refuge over the last almost two years to start fresh. I never wantrex to move until I got real with myself-the memories here are tainted with my ex and his abuse. My kids and I will flourish any where we go bc WE ARE OKAY! A house is a house, a family is made by the bonds of love and trust-we got that now. I got I to an argument with my somewhat (ok, very) materialistic mother bc how dare I sell some stuff that she found out I'm selling-well, dear mom, first of all it's mind of your business and second of all who gives a crap? It's stuff! I remembered something that I told my ex a long long time ago and I meant it-I never wanted all the nice things in the world-I would have been happy with him living in a box. Happiness was what I was seeking in my life and marriage and I finally have that-now that he's gone.

My point to all this is just to get real with yourself. You will be ok. Go build your life-one without abuse. It is so nice. I've grown in ways that never would have been possible. I'm living an authentic life now-I'm not hiding the abuse and disgust at home bc there is none at home-I don't feel like a fake and phony bc I can't share myself with friends-I'm not lying anymore and trying to put on a happy face in spite of what's going on at home-which was my life for way too many years. I'm a good person (I had forgotten that after years of abuse) and make good healthy smart decisions. I'm not evil, I'm happy and my smile shows it now. I'm free. Go seek that!!!! The happiness you seek is within yourself. Always remember that.
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