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Old 04-21-2016, 11:36 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
ajarlson
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 315
I never considered what she did 'abuse'. She left me with my grandparents to live her party life. She ripped me away from them at 14 when she felt like she got her life back together and made me her live in babysitter for my step brother and half brother. There was no real abuse but when my grandfather died, I was the one that helped my grandmother through the burial. When my grandmother died I handled everything because my mother was too stoned to deal with it. Through all of this I was married to an alcoholic. When I left him I realized that she brought out the same triggers as he did. I would get anxious when she called, when she didn't. Rush to her house if someone said they hadn't talked to her in a while. Let her stay with me after a month stay in the hospital for Pancreatitus (which I talked myself into believing was caused by a drug study she was in). I would go over there to pick her up when she fell, clean up her house because she was too out of it, she wanted me to be her care taker and I told her I could not be that (she was only 65 at that time). When I would try to talk with her about how distressing this was (she was totally supportive of me leaving the XAH) she would laugh and say she didn't remember any of it. It was 5 years after she got a DUI with my 14 year old daughter in the car before I finally realized that for my own sanity I needed to not have any contact, including people calling and telling me how she was doing (it was always 'not well'). My half brother calls me names and I feel guilty but the difference in my life is like night and day. And being on this site is so helpful. Thanks to all of you for providing a place to talk, and to listen.
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