Thread: I'm Homesick
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Old 04-21-2016, 07:41 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
atalose
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Join Date: Jun 2006
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In the past when he tells me to get out or breaks up with me I end up apologizing to him (for whatever it is he says I did) and then I beg and plead and then he lets me come back. Sooooo pathetic...
Is that the person you really want to be?? I'm thinking NO, no one wants to be pathetic it's just an ill thinking way we learned in order to get our way and to immediately stop our pain.

This has been going on for 12 years and I know I should not go back. But I miss the house (that I picked out back when we were going to get married) and the neighborhood. I miss my kitchen. And lord I miss sleeping in my own bed. I miss the yard with all the spring flowers I have planted over the years. I miss my cats which are still there. I miss his teenage daughter who has been staying with us lately. I miss his two dogs (I took my dog with). I miss my daily routine. And I miss him. Which is silly because he's really mean to me most of the time and the rest of the time he just ignores me. But I miss him anyway.
Sounds like it was a very nice flowery looking prison in a nice neighborhood, but still it was your prison. Aside from all the nice material things you became accustomed to, it was a prison where you were abused, verbally over and over and over again and made to feel worthless.

There may not have been any physical abuse but you sure could benefit from talking with the domestic violence counselor because you were abused and now you are free and need some help embracing that freedom so you can enjoy your life free from any and all abuse.
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