Originally Posted by FeelingGreat

One idea is that addiction of any kind, if it begins before 25, stunts the maturity of the addict, and freezes them emotionally at the point when they started drinking/using.
If you think about yourself as a teen, you probably thought the world was against you, no-one took you seriously, your family were the pits, and you should have all the privileges of being an adult, but none of the responsibilities. Most people, luckily, grow and mature out of that mind-set and become capable of seeing others' POV.
I've met people who never get beyond that stage because of addiction and possibly mental illness. Maybe your XABF is stuck in time and is acting out to get your attention.
Play a little game with yourself - call it BF bingo - think of all the nasty things he can accuse you of, and mark them off one by one. You win if he covers them all in one text.