I can only speak from what RAH has shared after getting sober. He said it was really never anything more than projection (at the very least) and outright raging just to validate the drinking he wanted to do. That way he felt justified when he took off like a madman to the bar.
He also shared that after so many times of this dynamic, his soft, addict mind started to just make that his "go-to" interaction between us - so even if there wasn't anything to fight about, he created it. He didn't stop to think about why or how inappropriate or undeserving it was. He'd convinced himself I was a horrid, constant nag & needed to keep that picture in head so he didn't ever allow me room to change that representation.
At his worst, he'd gotten to a point where he just wanted to "win" so any & all conversation dissolved into insanity. He literally could not HAVE a normal discussion about ANYTHING. Not with me, at least.