Oh man. I am alarmed for you. Thank goodness for that trooper. Have you thought about calling the trooper and seeing what help you may be able to elicit about all of this?
I have a relative who is a Trooper. They have access to all sorts of people and programs you would not have any idea they even participate in. I would definitely give that a try.
I think that these things are definitely contempt of court? I know my divorce decree states my X cannot w/hold social and sporting events. And withholding food as a punishment? It sounds like his wonderful mother is just as bad as him.
Hugs, so many hugs to you my dear friend. You are your children are in my thoughts and prayers.