Originally Posted by
Jaguar55 
My ABF, or apparently now my XABF, seems to go out of his way to bait me into a fight. He says the meanest, nastiest, most ridiculously obnoxious, insensitive, uncaring, disrespectful things imaginable. He calls me names and invalidates everything I think and feel. He treated me like....an insect for 12 years. And if I am stupid enough to get sucked into this and respond he ramps it up and gets meaner and meaner. And then he turns it around and says I am addicted to getting my drama fix! He seems to take most of the things he does to me and declare that I am doing them to him! So that is projection right? Does he actually believe it's true? Or does he just do it to mess with my head? I swear he has convinced himself that I'm a selfish psycho bitch who does nothing but mistreat him. He's so convincing that he gets me wondering if I AM!
OK, first... Do you enjoy this treatment? I'm going to say no. I was treated like this also, but I wouldn't have used the word "insect". I was treated like I didn't exist. I was married and living with him. Do you live with him?
I tried to figure out why the h3ll he did what he did, but I realized it didn't matter about what he did and why he did it. It was hurtful and emotionally harmful to me. I thinks sometimes we just get so caught up in trying to deal with them, and trying to figure things out, esp the right way to say things to them, so that they will understand, that we forget about the most important person there. That person is you.
You don't deserve to be treated like that. I think you are a terrific person, and you have so much compassion. You helped me a lot tonight. I really think that you should post here more often, and also go to al anon. I'm not sure if you are living with him. If you are I would suggest a DV support group before al anon.
Here for you,
(((((hugs)))))
amy