Thanks FeelingGreat
Yes I have had a good childhood but not without its ups and downs... family issues etc.
I started to take an interest in taking a counselling course after my sister passed. Really to just give myself a better understanding and foundation into helping others and learning more about human frailty and how to remain compassionate and understanding and most of all helpful and not reactive. For me it is was part of my healing process. (I was doing something constructive with my grief) It will be years away and further study before I actually decide what area that I want to try and help in but right now I'm interested in Drug and Alcohol counselling and not for the person who is the addict but for the family and loved ones closest. To help with grief. They need lots of care
I don't think I would be qualified to help and addict recover as I think the best help is from those who have gone through the addiction themselves.
From what I learned from my XABF and from SR is that I can not help him stop drinking. I do not understand how his brain is working as I have never been addicted to anything (knock on wood)... however I was addicted to XABF for a while... I can see that now from reading SR. (I am still trying to break the habit ) I realised how co-dependant I was and trying to help him get better... and it wasn't entirely for his benefit but for mine. I wanted a clean and sober BF and a happily ever after... I realise now that I could not in any way shape or form control what was happening to him.
I have gone through all common phases (which I had no idea was common)... "the love bombing, I want to marry you, you are the best thing that ever happened to me... the him trying to get me to drink with him (if you can't beat him , join him mentality)... the ways of enabling him I did I never realised was enabling behaviour... I went through him over valuing me, devaluing me, discarding me at least 3 times... it really made my head spin... but amazingly love remains.... go figure
Love from a distance now though...
I just want to add my friend with BPD is doing quite amazing now... she has worked her butt off finding the right docs and medication to support herself. She is now working for a Mental Health Service as a peer support coordinator... Fantastic. She is a shinning example of someone determined to help herself and never give up... she is now giving back to the community what she has learned from her own experience and help those suffering from similar ailments.
I keep the faith that one day (I hope soon) XABF will take a similar road as her...
Thanks FeelingGreat... love your name as well
