If I had no ld, I could at least go to a real college or be able to do something to get myself out of a bad spot. But when it happens I can't. As it is I haven't had my own place or a real job/ full time job that I didn't crash and burn at in 8 years. Eight years is a long time and certainly at 40- some odd years of age not too fun.
This is what keeps me up at night and I wonder if this is a ptsd thing. Where I am laying in bed trying to sleep and things that were said to me in the past or things that happened to me- like when a boss called me an idiot or like when i was almost laughed out of the office applying for grad school) float to the surface the minute I relax and I swear and promise you all I am not doing it on purpose it just happens. And then I just feel bad about myself going "Yep you tried to progress in life but joke's on you".