It's not to late to turn your life around. My daughter will turn 13 next month. I have been sober a little over one year. I can see a tremendous change in her. She is much happier and at ease these days. I can hardly imagine how awful it must have been for her, when I was a drunk all the time. I carried around alot of quilt over that. These days the guilt is gone. Lead by example. Only you can make the changes and set the example for your kids. Your kids don't hate you, they hate your disease and what it is doing to you. Don't allow it to kill you. Do whatever it takes to get sober. You ask will my kids be okay? They will have a better chance of being okay if you stop drinking. Get honest with yourself and get real serious. You can do this, you really can. I never thought I would ever be able to quit, but I did. You can too. If you really want it you can achieve it. Time to roll up your sleeves and get to work. Do you have a sponsor and are you working the steps? When your kids get older, maybe they will want to attend some alateen meetings. Until then, how about you attend the meetings and they will see and sense the changes around them. You set the pace and the moods. You are there indicator. Make it right. The results are well worth it for everyone involved. Good luck to you and your children. Take care and never give up the fight.