Linnie - Glad to see you're feeling a bit better today. There's nothing to be gained by staying angry with yourself. Acknowledgment of your regrets is fine, but let it be brief - you need to rise above this.
I was sober 3 yrs. & thought I could have a few now and then. 7 years later, I had two dui's and all sorts of drama & chaos in my life. I guess I needed further proof that I couldn't touch a drop. I came to SR at that point - & now I have 8+ yrs. sober. Some of us are slow learners - but we get there! Glad you are back with us.