Oh Linnie, I know exactly how that feels!
I was sober from February 2013 til sometime in the autumn of 2013 (about 8 months). Then I stop-and-start relapsed until July 2015, when I got sober again. By that July I was in terrible, terrible shape. I could remember how great it had felt to be sober but I just couldn't get back there. I was depressed, anxious, physically ill, and very broken. My year and a half of relapse was worse than all of the drinking I'd done before getting sober the first time. Especially since I knew the entire time what I was doing.
In my case (and I do think I was worse off than you) I ended up going to rehab. But whatever way you swing it, it's possible to go back to being confidently sober again. I almost never have cravings anymore. In fact I feel stronger in my sobriety than I did before. Now I know for sure what going back out feels like and I know I want nothing to do with it.
Welcome back, you can do it.