fill the void
WELCOME TO SR!!!
You need to find out what it is that is creating the void that you are trying to fill. You can cut off the top of the weed (your addiction and alcoholism) and it will always grow back. If you pull the weed out by the root (what's causing your void) it has less of a chance of resurfacing...
Take care, and keep coming back. It works if you work it! (the program)