Think of the insanity of the notion that if you keep doing something you will end up in jail or dead, and all you have to do to avoid that outcome is not swallow the stuff.
Then it seems like a punishment instead of a reward and an easy fix for certain death.
This is the insanity of alcoholism. It was one of the the things that convinced me beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was, in fact, a real alcoholic. Normal people don't think this way.
And the truth is, you will mourn alcohol, because it was your best friend, your ally, your confidant, it was there in good times and bad, making you feel better, purging anxiety, celebrating, numbing pain.
But it turned on me like a rabid dog, and tried to kill me. I didn't want to believe it, but alcohol, my best friend, wanted me dead.
And that's when it becomes self preservation.
Eventually, I don't miss it, nor care, and the idea of missing ingesting poison seems like what it is. The thoughts of a crazy person.