W,
He did exactly what he was hoping to do to you, put you in a tizzy. But this time, you didn't reach out going crazy on him. You are not the abusive mom he says. You ignored his drunk rant, that's all it was. What time was the email sent? Later in the evening when he had polished off a few and hopefully the kids were in bed.
Honey, you are doing fine. Kids complain about each parent when they have to do things they don't want too, I'm sorry, it is part of life.
You did what was right, you took it personally but you reached out to us to see if "we" felt there was any justification of what he said. We all called him "crazy", then you can move on to the next life threatening email.
QUACK QUACK QUACK!!!
Hugs my friend, keep after them doing their homework so you can move in with them when they make the big bucks!!