Originally Posted by
dandylion 
wantobehealthy.....that is awful that those horrible things happened to you.....it was wrong and you were just a kid and did not deserve any of that. I am soo sorry.....
He is cruel and abusive to you....you m ust not let yourself be subjected to these abusive texts, any longer.....
I know that others on SR have had to have their e-mails screened....so, I think you should find some way to do that.....
Be sure to have all of them saved as evidence....
You ARE NOT your mother! You are a totally separate person.
When you have these disturbing feelings/thoughts.....grab a pen and paper and write all the positive things about yourself that you can think of....
Reinforce your own positive self-identity.....try it....
Replace the wrong things that he has said with the TRUE reality....
This may be a redundant question....but, have you ever h ad ongoing therapy for abuse? If not....you certainly need that kind of support...like now!
dandylion
My DEEPEST fear is that I WILL be my mom-- that I might have that genetic disposition-- I am hyper conscious of my reactions to things with my kids all the time and have had a hard time setting firm limits with them because xAH claims I "abuse" them (even when we were married) if I would say no...
So, he of course is playing on what he KNOWS my deepest fears are...
DD10 definitely tries to play good cop/bad cop and undoubtedly complains about me to her dad... In fact she has hinted at the fact that he's a lot nicer to her when she tells him "bad" things about me...
So he's made his affection for her contingent on her complaining about me?!?!?! Insane right?
I need to not read his emails anymore-- that's for sure...
I know, logically, that he's drunk and being insane... I know all of that...
But reading those things-- my deepest, darkest, most vulnerable times, and having him tell me I will do all of that to my own kids, is almost too much to handle...
He's SO unstable and his lines about MY needing inpatient care are clearly a massive projection...