I just wanted to say thank you for this thread. It really hit on all my struggles with my family members. I too have a close relative with a good chunk of sobriety under his belt. His attitude along with my parents has been so detrimental to me. I really struggled with trying to be open and honest while dealing with the verbal shaming every.time. we talked. I get it, I'm a ****** person and a huge disappointment.
I feel some relief at knowing I'm not wrong or selfish in putting up boundaries with contact. I feel so much better knowing I'm not going to be judge, jury'd and executed every time I answer my phone to the people who are supposed to love me.
My family are all fixers. And know it alls.
I'm an easy mark because I never stood up for myself until I got sober. This led to more verbal abuse and shaming.
I just want to have a healthy balance in my life. Being sober and hearing over and over again how terrible you are is so disheartening. I work so hard to try and build myself up to get those sober days only to be knocked down and diminished every time I let them in.
So thanks again for this thread. I wanted to know that I wasn't doing it out of selfishness.. I need to protect my sobriety and limit my triggers. End point.