I like and need to remember that just because someone is sober does not mean they are not toxic. Most of the 'toxic' people I interact with are in fact NOT alcoholics or recovering alcoholics. There are a lot of dry drunks out there who stopped drinking/using, but still have MAJOR issues. And, there are a lot of people who've NEVER had a problem with drugs or alcohol who have major issues and to be blunt: They just are not very nice people....OR, they have other bad habits!These are the kinds of people that can drive a person to drink, so to speak, but I gotta learn to deal with that...because unless I become a hermit which is not likely but appeals to me sometimes, I WILL interact with people who are not very nice. Verbal Judo is a book I read many moons ago and found it to be helpful.
If I am aware that someone I know doesn't feel good to be around, but I have to be around them anyway (like family) I try limit my contact with them as much as possible. I don't "owe" them any explanation whatsoever and I needn't go take some sort of guilt trip. They can think what they want to think. I know what is most healthy for me.