During my first year sober, I spent a lot of time pondering whether I was "really" an alcoholic, and what stage I was in. I compared myself to others, took endless online tests. It was very easy to believe that I could possibly moderate someday, because I hadn't yet had any big dramatic consequences. But I kept not drinking, because it seemed to be improving my life.
Now I realize that all those thoughts were really the product of the addicted part of my brain, that wanted to keep drinking. Now it doesn't matter to me whether I was technically an alcoholic or not, early stage, middle stage -- none of it matters. Because I like myself and my life better sober than I did as a drinker, so I'm gonna stay sober.
That addict in my head still occasionally likes the idea of a drink, but she's been fired as manager of my life.