Originally Posted by
Dim I'm so paranoid that i've done some permanent damage to myself this time. Whether its wet brain or nerve damage to my legs ...
You were concerned about brain damage when you posted in November. Fear about your health didn't stop you from drinking though. And it probably won't stop the next relapse.
I'll echo what others have said, the best thing you can do for your health is permanent sobriety. Accept it, then find a recovery method that will support that decision.