I can assure you I am NOT making up any of this... I live in a state where the presumption is 50/50 custody (physical) and even parents who are jailed do not automatically get their parental rights, even decision making, terminated... It's insane.
About a year ago while there were pending criminal charges against him, a criminal investigation bc of child abuse and Child Protective Services involvement, I paid an exorbitant amount of money to have my lawyer make motion after motion about his BS behavior, the endless texts, the never quite crossing the line but totally inappropriate stuff.
I fought SO hard to end his ability to do this all and thought if ever there were a time, it would be when he had MULTIPLE pending charges against him.
His lawyer brought in a psychologist (who I had never met) who stated I have Borderline Personality Disorder (judge at that time called BS on the whole testimony and made the psychologist look like a moron but the damage to MY psyche was done by then), brought in a retired detective from the police dept saying that the pending charges were just that, pending (the retired detective was a pal of xAH's) and the judge was totally skeptical and gave xAH a tongue lashing about his temper but dismissed ALL the motions, told us both to learn to get along for the sake of the kids etc....
A week after that, xAH through his lawyer filed a motion to re-open parenting, alleged that I made false claims to get him arrested and to try and keep the kids from him... there was a hearing on THAT too... I had to defend myself then too.
Again, there was nothing valid to what he said BUT the judge on our case (who has since retired) was known for her obsessive like focus on "father's rights"
So after that, I've been AFRAID to look like I am filing anything frivolous etc...
The judicial system is subjective, capricious and narcissistic psychopaths fare well when a judge doesn't know the WHOLE story...
So, maybe I am wrong to not take him to court for all his on going crap, but he THRIVES on making me fear what he will pull legally and I do not want to spend the next 10 years fighting him over parenting.
There is no limitation on how often he can ask the court to re consider parenting, so I could spend my life going to court- however frivolous his crap...
I don't know if that makes any sense...
After he basically got away with physically battering DD10 (9 at the time) because he alleged it was "corporal punishment" and my state allows that, I realized I had NO hope of the legal system allowing me to protect the kids beyond what I have in my current parenting plan...
I do not think that he will ever lose decision making rights... My state is royally F'ed up is the bottom line...