Originally Posted by
ajarlson 
How is it I can understand addiction, but not understand the person?
Maybe because there isn't this separation between the 2 ^^, except in our minds?
In someone active in their addiction, the person & the addiction are the exact same thing, aren't they?
My only experience going long-term NC with family is with toxic codependents on my RAF's side of the family after he passed away. It has been over 20 years since I have spoken to a single member of that side of the family because their dysfunction/enmeshment was beyond overwhelming. I was 19.
With a family as huge as they are & all of them seriously invested in their ways, I opted to just go NC vs. trying to salvage individual relationships with those I was closest to. Actually - I tried to stay in contact with my Godfather since he was like a brother to my dad. He told me it was too difficult for him to be put in that position & he'd prefer NC over the discomfort of feeling like he was "in the middle". His discomfort was literally visible, he was sweating & anxious & shaky while we talked. People in that family do NOT go against the grain!