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Old 03-24-2016, 05:25 AM
  # 51 (permalink)  
Aellyce
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Haha, that's a funny notion about my therapist being a codie Certainly, there might be some truth in it, I know enough about him to see it fits him at least somewhat. Well, I guess it's a good profession if someone has that tendency, assuming they are aware of what they are doing. I don't think it's a problem if sometimes he also gets a bit entranced in his own world, we can always discuss that and adjust approach if necessary. I don't idealize him, follow his suggestions blindly, or anything like that. Certainly not when he imagines himself being the answer to everything

Gottalife's post got me thinking... So is the ability to choose actions incompatible or mutually exclusive with living a spiritual life? I think choices can be both good and bad, sane and insane, but wherever they come from, it's still us who execute the action. Same for any sort of spirituality I think: where the inspiration comes from is one thing but we act on it. I am not trying to create excuses to rationalize or justify my relapse, just wondering.

Yes I guess when we want to distort our reality using mind altering substances, it always comes from a place of perceived dissatisfaction, call it pain or anything.

GMO, that was a great metaphor for how a relapse feels. I only heard those things before, now I know it first hand. Yes the anticipation is what drives it, then maybe an hour under the influence is kinda okay, and all the rest (which is the biggest part) a hellish experience.

Anyhow, on the practical side, I did not have a very restful sleep but feel way better relative to yesterday. I'm glad because I'll have a few intense days with work where I need to focus and multitask a lot. It's kinda ironic that I always get sober at a time when my work schedule is most challenging, it was also 2 years ago. I'll definitely squeeze the meetings in though.
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