theuncertainty

AXH tried to pull the same stuff. Which is kind of funny (not haha), because all throughout the divorce, he couldn't be bothered with testing because it would impact his work schedule. "What, I gotta take time from work? Do what? How much does it cost? I'll already lose pay from the time missed at work." But, when it came to my job, time was not important. However the visitation schedule was pretty darn clear: DS goes to AXH on Day at xx am and returns to Mom on Day at xx pm. Until I felt safe enough with the idea that I could say no to his last minute changes, it was really hard to actually say it.

WTBH, how detailed is your visitation schedule? Are the kids even out of school early enough to get there by 3? And then there's traffic time to get across town. If the visitation schedule did outline school/work day at 3 pm:

• Since it's no longer workable, can you submit a modification to ask for a change for future dates? I have to believe that no court is going to require that you continue to follow a schedule that would result in you losing your job.
• Until change can be made (and admittedly with my new-found courage, but still somewhat unsteady stance), I think I'd be inclined to respond that since he hadn't exercised this particular visitation time period in 2 years, alternate arrangements have been made; the kids are not available, my work schedule has since changed, and I will need time to 1. adjust the kids' schedules and 2. discuss a temporary work schedule change with my employer.
• If taking a late lunch or whatever wouldn't be an option to meet him at the station until a visitation schedule change can be requested and approved, I wouldn't add the last part. I'd just outline that our schedules have changed in the 2 year period of un-exercised visitation, and propose a later meeting time that would work for my schedule and the kids'. And I'd make sure that was do-able for ME into the foreseeable future, and use that as the proposed modification.

If work/school day at 3 pm is not in the visitation plan, "no" really is an answer that can be upheld in court proceedings.

I have faith in you, WTBH. I think you can do this. You have shown so much strength. And this won't be forever. (I know it feels like it, but it won't be.) You don't even need to look at how long it'll take to go through the court channels. Just look at *today*. You're going to be OK. You already are. ((((hugs))))