Hi, Aellyce,
Glad that you're checking in with our world here and sharing your resolve to live again in recovery.
While I want to be part of a response that keeps the focus on you -- and being a supportive, helpful part of your life -- I winced when I read your post about your therapist trying to dissuade you from treatment. Hawkeye aptly summarized my concerns, to which I'll add this admittedly blunt comment: This is about you, not him. You've already noted that you won't accept manipulation, for which I commend you. You've spent time in analysis and are familiar with the turf. But there is a power differential in the relationship, one that may well be exacerbated by your condition at the moment.
In a nutshell, put yourself first.
With you all the way, my friend.
Take care,
Venecia