Originally Posted by
Hawkeye13 
this suggests a compromise of interest to me Aellyce--
if his personal feelings are affecting his professional judgement,
you need to find another therapist.
It might be pleasurable to engage this person on an intellectual
and emotional level, but it doesn't sound
like it is in your best interest to me.
Yeah we had a period like that. Also with my former therapist, who was far less good than the current one in many ways. So I dumped the first one because I felt he could not get beyond his subjective reactions. But I don't want to get rid of the current one because we have been such a great team in so many ways for about a year now doing lots of intense work we both learn from. Of course he could not help me prevent the relapse because I hid it and did not mention my conflicting thoughts that preceded it either. One thing I like about him is that he is very open to acknowledging his own involvement when things get a bit twisted at times and in fact he is extremely interested in studying his own reactions. I discussed with him in depth how letting my addiction treatment affected by personal wishes is a deadly serious game for me that must not be taken lightly under any circumstances. We'll see but yes I will not allow him to manipulate the therapy to make it gratifying for himself on my expense, I think I easily recognize it now and don't particularly enjoy him engaged that way when I am sober. But I understand it, therapists are also humans no matter how much training and experience, why they go to supervision to handle these kinds of things. I would be reluctant to dump a therapist I have been working with for so long and in such depth, it takes a lot of time and effort to start that over. Anyhow, it does not change the fact that I cannot afford to have my sobriety threatened by not getting the help I need.
It'll be meetings for now, see how that goes.