I think some therapy around the trauma you have been through would be helpful.
I mean, in a world of addicted arseholes, your Ex would be a contender for president. . . seriously
I think the advice to let your current man know what triggered you and why
would be a good idea--use this as an opportunity to grow as a couple and to
work on things together.
It will be OK WTBH--disagreements happen, and you guys can weather this.
I think your intentions to be sure nobody violated your boundary is not unhealthy either,
but learning what the line and signs are will take time
with a "normal" loving person as a partner.
You can do it
