Don't be too hard on yourself...after what you've been through, PTXD (post traumatic ex disorder) is completely understandable. Honestly, if someone I dated after my first marriage reminded me at all of my ex, I ran away screaming. Eventually, I found his opposite!
Trust your gut, though. If he was condescending or dismissive about any of this, or if you continue to hear about it from hm for too long after this discussion, pay attention.
Sending you a hug.