Heartbroken for son
I am posting for the first time on any forum and am kind of lost. Hopefully this is an original post and I am not replying to someone's post, although there is such great info from all of you.
Today, my 21 year old son came in to my professional office workplace high. I had locked him out of the house because he was not home at 7 a.m and I had to go to work and didn't want to leave the doors unlocked for him. He got someone in the parking lot to let him into our locked building, them came upstairs and he was obviously high,wanting my house key so he could get in. He got paid this morning, and went out as soon as the money hit his account to buy beer and drugs ----I think pills. As I was leading him to the door to get him out of my office, he said out loud for anyone to hear "It smells like sh^* in here, why do you want to work here?" several times. I was outraged and embarrassed. I gave him my house key just to get rid of him and he walked home. Several hours later my 17 year old son called me and said his brother was drinking in the house, playing loud music and carrying his laptop around the neighborhood with loud music coming from it. He had spilled beer all over our floor. I could tell my younger son was upset and didn't know what to do. I had to leave work after explaining the situation. Who knows what my boss will say tomorrow. I went home, put all my older son's things on the back patio, and when he came home I told him I wanted him out. I explained to him why. I kicked him out 2 weeks ago for the same things and unfortunately let him back in, telling him if he used alcohol or drugs again, he was out. He sat on the outside of the house, slumped over and looking dejected, and called me several times to try to get me to let him in to "get something." I said no. His voice became emotional and he said he had no one to call or come pick him up. I told him that was his problem to solve. He finally put all his stuff in our barn shed, and walked off down the street with his head down. He quit his job last week, has no car and only 1 or 2 friends, one of whom lives with his parents and the other is in prison. I feel heartbroken and sad that his life is like this. I know I will miss him terribly, but will not miss the mess he made of my life and my younger son's. Does anyone have any similar stories, encouragement, or advice? I need lots of support if I am going to "stick to my guns." I can't let him back in like I've done 3 or 4 times before in the past 3 years.