I agree completely with you, Nonsensical, that the way we choose to view an issue affects our outlook and therefore our behaviour. What people say to others around this topic is much less important than what they say to themselves.
This is tricky stuff here, this sobriety business, residing in the mind as it does. I think it is wise to take every opportunity to frame the situation in a way that leads to success. For me, that was personal responsibility for my actions, and for their outcomes. That pointed me where I needed to go.