My BF, my son, and my XAH
Just a very short time ago I was leaving my alcoholic husband and, despite all the crap I went through, I was looking forward to my future and what God had in store for me. Never thought I'd be where I am today, lol.
So, bf asked me what my thoughts were about me moving in with them. Yes, that includes my son, too. We've talked a LOT about it the past few days. Discussed the pros and cons. I expressed my concerns and he was honest and if he didn't have answer for me he just said, "I don't know. I guess we'll just work through it when it comes about or we can talk about it soon and find a solution."
Truly, I didn't see this coming. I kept thinking that he moved so dang slow with our whole dating process these past 11 months that I never would have thought he would approach me with this so soon. I assumed it would come about next year or something, haha.
Anyway, I told him that I wanted to wait a bit. With his new house being only a 4 minute drive away, I'll probably be living there a lot anyway. He was very excited and told me he knew the girls( 7 and 10) would be excited but I, on the other hand, knew my son would NOT be so gung ho. I'm pretty certain my kid would want us to wait. He is very loyal to my XAH.
And, so I talked to my son tonight about it and told him that it would probably be happening in the future. Maybe 4 months, maybe 9 months, maybe 10....but it will happen provided bf and I stay together, lol.
What bothered me the most is the way my son was concerned about how this would hurt my XAH. I know I need to be compassionate but I feel like I am being asked to put off my happiness and my future just to placate my XAH's feelings. He has been telling my son what an awful person I am for moving on so quickly, he accuses me of cheating for the past 2-3 years and he tells my son that I'm a cheating bitch, etc. There's so much more but I'm really tired of it all. Anyway, I asked my son what he would do if we were to move in with my bf sooner than later (just to see what his reaction would be because I don't plan to do this right away until I pray about it, journal, turn it over to God, etc) and he said, "I'll probably just spend a lot more time at dads because he'll need me."
Sigh.....one minute my son is complaining about his dad's drunken tirades and then the next minute he's feeling sorry for his father and treating me like I'm the bad guy. I feel for the boy. I know I can take as long as I want to make my decision whether to live with my bf or not. And, I know that he has told me that he will wait for me to be ready because he is committed to me so that's not my concern. But, what bugs me is that I feel like I constantly put my life on hold for my son or for my X....and maybe my perception is off but today I'm annoyed about how my son buys into my XAH's pity parties. It's insanity and I'm just tired of it.