Originally Posted by
dandylion 
WTBH......just want to tell you how I handled the birthday thing (as well as other special days)......
I did not include their father (my ex husband).....(he was a difficult narcissist).
I had the parties, etc.....and, the kids were very happy on those occasions.
If their father did special things for them on their visits to him...I am sure that they enjoyed it, there, also.
They did not seem to be "racked
by the idea that both parents were not in the same room---Norman Rockwell style...lol....
I think that is a fantasy dream that resides in the mind of the parent.....
Oh, sure...there are some people who are able to co-parent, together, beautifully....and have respectful, co-operative interactions with each other....
Those are normal, Healthy people.....
Your ex does not seem to fall into that category....and, may never be so....
Sometimes, you just have to accept the reality of the situation...and make the best of it......
dandylion
Thank you! I do not want him involved in the part of the day I have DD AT ALL. He however, expects to be invited/included in things like this. And there were times he was. But his pattern of behavior has made it such that I am not allowing that anymore and it is FAR better for the kids that it is this way.
However xAH being the narcissist that he is, sees this as being about HIM.
So HE is angry he is not included in a party with a bunch of 8 yr olds and is being the same jerk he is anytime there are limits placed.
I don't know if Im supposed to figure out a way to "share" the actual day of her birth with him fairly but as her party w friends is that day I don't see that happening and he is unwilling to accept that.
Im worried about his anger and feel like I need to contort myself and DD's day to appease him and it's insane....